Do you ever do random acts of kindness? Do you sometimes feel that maybe these small acts of generosity are going unnoticed or not taking effect? It can be quite easy to fall into that way of thinking if you do kind things on a regular basis.
Recently, a lady came to see me for coaching, she was feeling “fed up and drained‘. She wanted to know if she really was making a difference. She felt she was always the one doing kind things for others, even strangers. She said she felt used and thought that her efforts were not appreciated.
I told her she could well be right. It might not be worth doing any acts of kindness and instead, solely focus on her own needs for a change. Her body language shrivelled slightly when I suggested this.
(And for you fellow coaches or NLP’ers reading this, yes I did challenge her above sentence)
I then acted on a hunch and told her the following.
The Ripple Effect
You may not think that your small acts of love and kindness are making any difference but they could be bigger than you are currently thinking.
I asked her if she had heard of the ripple effect. Briefly this says if you help one person you could be helping thousands. It works like this.
Let’s say for example you really help someone in need, someone who is unemployed and looking for work to help his family. You give them some words of encouragement or advice. You restore that person’s belief in themselves by showing that kindness.
With their new found motivation and belief that you have restored, they move from unemployed to employed. The following month they have extra money and are able to pay bills with the wages they have coming into the home. This reduces the extreme tension they were experiencing in their relationship over money worries and prevents what could otherwise have been a break-up…
Their 3 children now do not go through a messy divorce.
The job the guy got by the way (That you helped) is working at a care center. He excels in this role and in turn makes the lives of the 30 elderly residents happier.
Now one particular lady, one of the children of the elderly relatives in the care home, was worried sick, anxious for placing her Father there. She was so consumed with guilt that she released her pent up, stressed feelings on her family, in particular her husband, every evening.
But the guy you helped get the job in the nursing home is loving what he does. His love and kindness was there for all to see and it rubbed off on all the residents whose lives he touched. Now when the lady visited her Father and saw how much more content he was in the home, she felt less and less guilty and the stress began to disappear.
Now this lady’s husband is happier because his wife is more relaxed. The loving atmosphere in their home has returned and the stress and anxiety has left.
Helping one person can have a massive impact on their lives and all the lives they touch
This in turn sends her husband to work in a better frame of mind who happens to have his own business and employs 55 people. Now that his mind is clearer he can suddenly see a way out of the financial mess he had run his business into and manages to save it from going under. This ensures that his workforce, 55 employees, keep their jobs and are not made unemployed.
Which was great news to one of his employee’s who, nearing 63, knew that the boss had been teetering on the verge of going under. The 63 year old employee had been having sleepless nights at the mere thought of being dumped on the scrapheap at his sprightly age. This worry had been placing undue stress on his heart problems…
One act of kindness can go further than you what you might think
Now that his boss had seen a way out of the dilemma he was in and had steered the company back into profitable ways, his blood pressure dramatically reduced and his doctor said if he stayed this healthy he would see another 15 to 20 years.
And that was great news for his 2 grandchildren who were only 5 and 7….
All of this simply because you showed somebody who had crossed your path in life, with no reward to yourself other than it making you feel good, a random act of kindness.
The lady smiled. That was all she needed to hear. And the strangest part of all in this very short coaching session? She had recently spent about 3 or 4 hours of her time, helping a guy she hardly knew, find a job!
How did I know how to use finding a man getting a job as an example for her? (She was happily baffled) Well, I haven’t studied people from age 4 without any additional benefits. Or maybe it was just coincidental? Could be, but I don’t believe in such.
So next time you do an act of kindness for someone remember how much it could impact hundreds, even thousands of other lives in the process. And if you aren’t in the habit of helping others from time to time, why not start this week?
You may not always see the benefits…but be rest assured they are there in abundance.
Oh and by the way, I didn’t charge this lady. I did this one out of kindness…