At some of the seminars I conduct, depending on the content of course, I open with a small demonstration. I take out a wad of cash and ask the attendee’s, who would like to have it as I wave it in the air for all to see. Almost every hand naturally goes up, apart from the one or two skeptical people.

Then I grab the money in both hands and screw it up really tight so it is all wrinkled. I then ask again who would like the cash. Almost every hand goes up.

Then I take the crumpled money, throw it on the stage and tread on it, rub it it into the floor where hundreds of other feet have trodden. I ask again who would still like the money now. Almost every hand goes up. I ask them why do they still want the money after I have crumpled it up and trodden it into a dirty floor.

The same reply will always come. “Because it is still worth the amount; it still has its value.”

nasty people

Others cannot define who you are unless you let them

Life sometimes throws stuff at us; it kicks sand in our faces. Sometimes these unwelcome events come in the form of other people. And more often than not, are usually the main culprit in this analogy. People can, and do, some of the strangest, weirdest and hurtful things to us. They say despicable things or commit horrendous acts against us. Even the people we love or have loved.

But just like the money, even though you may have been screwed up by life or trodden on by others, you must remember that any such actions do not change your self-worth. You are still just as valuable as a person.

Unless you choose to think otherwise.

The late great, Stephen Covey referred to the 90/10 Principle. He said that 90% of what happens to us in everyday life we don’t really have any control over. We cannot control how others behave towards us. And we cannot always control what life is going to throw at us either.

You are a unique and extraordinary person

But the 10% is what is important. We do control that. We can choose how we respond to any such events.

A philosophy I try and use is (I think this is an Eastern proverb) “How others treat me is their path. How I respond is mine”

This does not justify their actions of course. But I am not really interested in them any longer if they have set out to try and attempt to intentionally be nasty to me. I am interested in my well being. I use this philosophy for ME.

What are you choosing with what life has thrown at you? How are you choosing to respond to the hurtful words or actions another has taken against you? How you respond can be critical to your current and future success and happiness.

Remember, whatever has happened to you in the past does not alter or change your self-worth as a human being today. Unless you choose to make it so. You are who you think you are.

The meaning any event has on your life is only the meaning you wish to give it.

You are a unique and extraordinary person. Don’t let anyone or anything, define you otherwise. You owe it to yourself.