As you know I am a mind coach; I like to know what is going on in people’s minds. To get a feel for people I like to observe. Some of my close friends think that I am psychic but I am not. I have just watched people since the age of about 4…probably earlier.
As well as a passion for learning all I can about the mind and consume as much information as possible on the subconscious mind, I also study body language. This has also helped me with my coaching too. Because of this observing, I am more open to seeing potential in people rather than current ability. And it helps me press for more information and when to ask more powerful questions.
With so many years dedicated to all of this, reading people almost comes naturally to me. I don’t even have to think about it; I just seem to ‘know’ things.
Anyway, I thought I would share with you some of the stuff I observe when I am out and about. I am not quite at Sherlock’s level yet…or am I?
None of what I see or try and spot is done in a judgemental way or with a downward looking critical eye. It’s just what I observe.
Office Lunch Time…
When a table of 2 or more co-workers arrive at a cafe I will often move tables just to eavesdrop on their conversations. When it is a small group (2 or 3) a popular theme is gossiping about their co-workers and what they have done wrong during the week or whatever. It is almost certainly negative. I have not heard any complimentary words about an (absent) employee in a long, long time. These nonsense gossipings can go on for the most part of their lunch break.
Maybe they are diverting attention away from their own shortcomings. There could be a 100 and 1 reasons why. I am not going into that here. I just watch their body language and facial expressions.
The striking part is the negativity I hear. Horrible bosses, nasty coworkers and stuck in a job they can’t stand. I admire their tenacity. How do they put up with it day in and day out? Why don’t they change it if they hate it that much?
The Big Office Lunch…
This is just a game I like to play. When a table of 8 or more employees are eating out I like to see how long it takes me to spot who is the one with the authority or who the boss is. Usually, they gravitate to the middle of the table or group. Anyway I find it amusing to watch others suck up. And I like to see how the boss handles her authority. Is she revelling in it and appearing egotistical or is he humble, knowing full well some are merely trying to impress?
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There is so much I could talk about here but I will keep this down to how passengers frantically switch on their devices as soon as the plane has taxied (Parked?). Oh the world has stopped for these poor souls, they can’t get their androids connected fast enough. Or maybe they are all needed in surgery and that’s why it is so vital they get themselves on the grid as quickly as possible?
Yes I understand if it has been a long haul, but really, is the company going to shut down because they were on a flight? Is the world never going to be the same again in their lives because they weren’t online? Is everything hinging on one email? But I’ve seen the same urgency to get back on the facebook radar when flying for only 45 minutes.
I believe the constant checking of devices during the day is conditioning people to need distraction. Without it, there seems to be a void. Are you falling into a world of distraction? Can you be without your device for a few hours without falling prey to panic?
I see how the escalators are for more popular than the stairs. Stairs? Stairs? No way. They take effort. Reminds me of a notice I once I read at the bottom of the escalator to a health food shop;
Escalator out of order, please use the stairs. Sorry for the convenience caused.
Happy or Stressed?
I look at how many people actually look happy compared to harried or stressed. I wonder what is going through their minds as most seem to appear the latter. Why don’t they simply change their thoughts? It could help tremendously.
A Lingering Smile…
The next time you are sat in a cafe or on a train or bus and you can get eye contact with someone, hold your gaze a few seconds longer and smile. The reactions you receive are very funny. A rare few smile back at you. Others perform the dismissive head turn. Some give half, insincere smiles and then the head turn. But keep your eyes fixed. Every now and again they will half turn back wondering if you are sane or how and why you can be happy.
A Hotel Breakfast…
This one always fascinates me when there is a buffet on offer. The people who are piling their plates full of Muesli, obscure Greek yoghurt and five fruits I couldn’t name and I ask myself, I wonder if they eat like that at home every morning? And I get the impression that they look at the likes of me going for the full fried English, with a ‘holier than thou’ attitude, a kind of, ‘Look at me. I am healthy’ attitude emanates from them.
Or is it my own guilt in play? Is it that small voice in the back of my mind telling me to eat more healthily?
The New E cig Smoker…
Like the ‘are they really a healthy eater’ above, these new E cig smokers who still have to mingle with real tobacco smokers when fulfilling their habit in public spaces, also seem to think they are one better than the real smokers. They too have an air of disgust when looking at smokers, rather like non-smokers do.
Do they not realise that they are just as addicted, if not more so, to nicotine than someone who puffs 20 Malbrough a day? I know. I’ve been in both traps.
“You all see everything but you observe nothing.” Sherlock
The Rise of the Machine…
Mobility scooters seem to be on the rise. A meteoric sales purge has seen these machines everywhere in the UK in the last decade. Now it seems, they are not solely for disabled bodied people anymore. I seem to be seeing more and more obese people using them…in between shops. Yes, they drive from store to store, park up, get out and walk, and quite well in my opinion, around large departments. Some are even carrying bags of shopping too. Then it’s back out and onto the scooter to the next shop.
Were these people housebound before these (Ugly in my opinion) contraptions came into force? Do all of the people actually need them? Are they hindering or helping the fight against their obesity? Are the people sat on these machines really in need of them or like so many others, using the escalators instead of the stairs? Are they really happy with their weight?
I don’t know the answers. I am merely putting forth my observations and what runs through my mind.
What I do know is that I am witnessing an epidemic of obesity and from all ages and is a topic that could quite frankly, take up 3 or 4 blogs.
Home Sweet Home…
This is my favourite place of all; going into people’s houses. When invited into the living room the first thing I scan is to see where the TV is placed. Does it take center stage? Is it the main focal point of the room? Then I look for bookcases and shelves and if there are some, see if there are any particular themes to their reading.
If I can’t read the titles on the covers, I ask if I can take a peek. The same goes for DVD’s (What am I going to do in the houses of the not so distant future when everyone has a Kindle and is watching Netflix?)
I also look out for pictures around the room and what their focal point is too. Next, I try and get a feel for their home. Is it a positive place? Would I like to stay here? Would it be cosy and snuggly on a cold, winter night? Are the colours bright and cheery? Or dark and melancholy?
Why Oh Why…
I do all of these things (and more), to get an insight into people and what makes them tick. I also look at how people are dressed in all of these scenarios and use that as a gauge to determine their approximate income and social status. I see if there are any patterns in all of my observations between rich people and not so rich people; the successful and the not so successful.
Much to the annoyance of my patient wife I can find it hard to switch off from doing all of this. I might suddenly start smiling at her when we are out at dinner. Unfortunately, I have not had a romantic urge to say something sweet but rather have overheard a couple arguing on a nearby table.
A couple, I might add, who were holding outstretched hands over the table when we had arrived…but I had secretly pointed out to my darling wife as we first entered, that they are here because there are problems in their relationship they are trying to fix…people who only see could have mistakenly thought they were celebrating or on a first date…