It’s father’s day today. A great day if you are a dad or if your Dad is still around. We should recognise our Dad’s every day or as often as we can but I suppose this day, like Mother’s Day, is a good opportunity to tell them we love them if we don’t do it often.

But for some people it can be a sad day. Too many children are growing up without the influence of their Father being around. To pre-empt any comments from the politically correct and the disturbing trend of the day, I believe all Mothers do a great job-whether they are single or not. Single Mothers have it particularly hard. I admire them for their devotion and hard work and by no means do I say that with any tone of a condescending manner.

I believe all kids need and deserve two parents in their lives; a Father and a Mother. A Mother’s wisdom is unique and so is a Fathers’. Both offer children what the other cannot.

Too many kids however are growing up without their father’s around and I believe this causes emotional turmoil, in some form or another, in their lives when they reach adulthood.

Isn’t there a big kid in everyone? Yes there is. And below that bravado of the adult who had an AWOL Dad when they were growing up, I believe there is a longing for the Father in their life.

Yes beneath the  “I don’t care” or “I don’t want to see my Dad ever again” lies emotional pain. Sometimes transparent, oftentimes hidden. But always there. A pain that can cause sufferers to develop self-destructive behavior, usually in relationships.

In other worst cases, this suppression of pain can manifest itself into disease and disorders of the body. Other adults still carrying extreme childhood pain around with them are unfortunately sent to a dark world of drug or alcohol abuse.

I know. I am a Father that was missing from my Kids lives for the most part of their childhood-albeit mostly physically. I was also dragged away from my own Father when I was six, rarely seeing him for over 13 years.

Again, I have to voice my own personal opinions on this topic. And one of those is this: If you had an absent father in your life I reckon he did and does love you regardless of a lack of communication between you both over the years.

And I believe, despite perhaps your words, you love him too. Yes, I can empathise that that love may well be buried in a deep recess somewhere. But I do believe it is there.

Whatever you are doing today, Happy Father’s Day to you. Tell them you love them. They will appreciate it.

And one day, so will you.