It is only 11am and nothing has gone right for you so far, starting with a petty argument over breakfast with your other half that has blown up out of all proportion. On the way to work you realise you have left your office keys at home and had to drive back for them, making you late for your important appointment.
In your quest trying to get there on time, you were caught speeding and then hit a massive traffic jam. When you finally reach the office your appointment sends you an text and cancels. You then receive a phone call from the school headmaster informing you she needs to see you today regarding the unruly behaviour of your child. Another text beeps on your phone and your partner/husband/wife says that you were in the wrong and should apologise now, carrying on the argument,
You are hopping mad. And now your mood or emotional state has turned bleak and you feel mightily fed-up.
You decide to take five minutes out and sit quietly in your office. Your mind turns to your business, career, relationship or some great goals you have set and you decide to review how each is going.
What response would you get? I know; it would be negative. Your mind would be telling you that your relationship is not going well, you are always arguing and it probably won’t last. When it fires over to your business, well that is not going to be the success you had planned either. And the cancelled appointment is the ultimate proof that you are just dreaming about making more money and hitting your financial targets. Goals are for other people and there is just no point in setting them anymore.
Life itself can appear pretty pointless. Does this sound familiar? Have you experienced such moments in your life before?
For some, even the weather can adversely affect their perspectives on things. When dull or raining their relationship for example is heading to the dogs. When sunny, it is all rosy
When you are feeling in these down moods, and we all suffer with them from time to time, it is NOT the time to evaluate your life, job, relationship, goals or anything else for that matter. It is extremely dangerous to do so. Why? Because when you are feeling down your mind will perceive your reality totally differently to what it actually is. It will answer you along the lines of the above example.
Sometimes, even extreme tiredness or stress can have the same negative effect too. So try not to evaluate anything at those times either.
A Different Mood, a Different Perspective
Now imagine this, it is now 11.30am; just 25 minutes later.
You receive a phone call from the cancelled appointment and she informs you that they will proceed with the order and she will pop over the same afternoon and pay the deposit. Your phone beeps again and you open your text to read that your loved one has said sorry, they love you and can they take you for a romantic dinner this evening? The headmaster calls back and apologises; it was not your child she was referring to after all and she apologises for her grave error!
Just think if I was to step in at this moment of time and simply ask you, “So how’s everything?”
Can you envisage the different response I would get to what you were thinking just 20 minutes or so earlier?
That is how powerful your moods, or emotional, state can be!
If you cannot control your moods instantly, then wait a little while until you have moved to a more optimistic state and then review your progress or how things are going. You will find you have a very different outlook that is far more positive than when you are feeling down or low.
Try it and see.
Mind you, you still have the speeding ticket to deal with. Maybe you can talk your loved one into paying it over dinner……