So You Don’t Know What You Want to Do? (And what you can do about it)


It’s one of the most common challenges I come across that clients face, and people in general who I casually meet. It once ate away at my mind. “If only I knew” we cry out, time after time, day after day, month after month-and year after year in some cases.

I am referring to doing what we are passionate about or following our purpose or what we would dearly love to do in life. If this is you, I will burst your bubble if you have created one. You and it are not unique in this instance. By that I mean, the challenge you face is neither unique and the challenge does not make you unique…you are not in the minority, you are with the herd. It is that common. Now that’s out of the way, lets move on.

Here are some of the remarks I hear about this.

  • I am just so frustrated I just don’t know what I want to do!
  • I am so confused, mixed up because I don’t know what I want to do. It’s driving me insane.
  • If only I knew what I wanted to do, but I don’t. It’s making me physically ill.
  • I am so stressed because I just don’t know what I want to do.
  • I will be truly happy once I have found out what I want to do, but I just can’t find it at all.

And on and on the list goes. Maybe some of them sound familiar to you? I certainly recognise some of them from times of old.

The thing is, this language and these thoughts are the dominant ones. They are at the forefront of their thinking. It becomes entrenched in their mind. These language and thought patterns become silent, powerful commands to the unconscious mind. Within a very short time they form the limiting belief that, I cannot find what I want to do.

What you want is not on the other side of something, it is within you

What you want is not on the other side of something, it is within you

Now this is detrimental to what the person wants. You see the mind, once it believes something to be true, will actively seek out evidence to support this belief. And, more importantly, it will ignore all evidence to the contrary (This is true for whatever you believe).

So, what happens? Every day, your limiting belief that you cannot find what you want to do, will show up in your life as events and circumstances and thoughts and feelings. Your mind is actively seeking out ways to prove you are right; to support your limiting belief.

Remember, your unconscious mind can resist change. Change can take time and it does require persistence.

And your unconscious mind, working behind the scenes, is the real instigator of your findings. It just sits there listening to your consistent conscious thoughts and language patterns, and then quietly sets about getting them for you. It even controls your behaviour so your actions mirror this limiting belief that you don’t know what you want to do.

So let’s step back for a moment and take a couple of the earlier thought and speech patterns.

  • If only I knew what I wanted to do, but I don’t. It’s making me physically ill.
  • I am so stressed because I just don’t know what I want to do.

You are becoming the author of your life’s results. You are self-prophesying. Every day, week, month or passing year, you won’t find what you want to do. Instead you will be stressed, frustrated and or physically ill from time to time with colds, flu and niggly minor, irritating ailments. Depending on the frequency and intensity of the thoughts and which powerful words you use to describe it, this could lead to more severe ailments and stress related illness.

Isn’t the mind just wonderful? I marvel inside when people talk to me like this. I am still amazed at the power of our unconscious minds. It is doing everything it is told to do to the letter. Marvellous.

So if it can work against you it sure makes sense that your unconscious mind can also work for you. How do you get it to do this? By switching your thinking and speech patterns. It takes no extra effort as you are thinking anyway. It simply requires awareness.

The best way is to first refocus your mind. What you focus on you will find, remember? You can do this by asking powerful questions that causes your unconscious mind to go to work. Such as;

  • If I had an unlimited budget and could only spend the money on work, what would I do? (You had to pay to go to work)
  • If I could wake up tomorrow, fully qualified, or successful in any field, what would it be?
  • If I knew, that I could not fail, if God had personally guaranteed me success, what would I choose to do?

These powerful, thought provoking questions, require time to be answered. They are best if you ask them at night, or in your quiet moments. Then let them go. Let your unconscious mind go and find the answers. Be patient. It does take time. Your unconscious mind will resist your efforts at first. You have to be persistent.

people make the best choices

The right questions will find you the right answers

The second step is to interrupt your previous thought and speech patterns. Turn them into past tense or better still replace them.

You do have a choice. You can keep on saying to yourself, and others, “I just don’t know what I want to do it’s making me stressed out” and see those exact results in your life. Of course, maybe you like being that way? No? Ok.

You can choose to change the patterns and replace them instead with something like, “I am discovering my purpose in life. My unconscious mind is revealing it to me right now.” say this over and over, especially at night as you drift off to sleep.

If you do what I have suggested, over a period time you will form a new belief, that you are discovering what you want to do in life. And your unconscious mind, being ever faithful and following its instructions exactly, will reveal to you what you want to do. One day, probably when you least expect it, it will pop into your mind as a picture, a feeling or a whisper.

Let’s face it, which do you think will work best for you? The way you have been thinking and speaking? That hasn’t worked out the way you want it to. Remember, it takes a little time and patience and practise. With a little effort you can find it. You will find it. It is a Universal Law.

But for now, while your unconscious mind is seeking your answer, get on with your life. Change your attitude to your job, or go do something else. But do something or it will paralyse you and become your # 1 excuse for not making your mark in life. You have everything to be happy for. After all, your unconscious mind is about to reveal what you love to do…that’s enough to make anyone happier.

If you really, really want to discover what you love to do, you will do it. Ultimately, it is up to you of course. What are you going to choose to do?

I believe in you. And I know you can find it, because I know the power of the mind.

Rob Hamilton

I am a published author and writer of several ebooks. Known as the Mind Coach, I help people unlock their true potential so that they can achieve their dreams and goals and perform better more of the time.

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Who is this Guy?

Robert Hamilton

Robert Hamilton

Robert is a published author and expert mind coach. A certified NLP Practitioner, Timeline Therapy™ and Life Enhancement Coach (Dip). Rob has studied the mind and performance for 30 years.

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