Good afternoon, morning, evening or night-wherever you may be- fellow friends who take out a couple of minutes in their agenda to read these blog posts (I am grateful that you do, incidentally).
Now it has been 10 days since my last scribbling-which is longer than usual for me. I hope you will understand that my excuse is completely justified. I got married. Yes, I jetted off to Salt Lake City, Utah, USA and married my beautiful fiancee. All kind of spur of the moment planning. We had a break in our hectic schedule between now and years’ end so we jumped on it.
Any how, this post is not the mushy type about romance (Even though I like to think of myself as highly romantic) but it is about how I came about to marry the great woman I did and whether or not some mystical force has played a part in it.
You see the beautiful lady I have just married I once worked with some 13 or 14 years ago now. She was my top my manager in the company I consulted for. I liked her then and admired her work ethic and appreciated the results she helped me achieve. In fact I wouldn’t have been as successful as I was without her determination and expertise.
I was married at the time, so there were no feelings involved in our relationship; it was platonic. Now the strange thing is, I actually played a part in pairing her with the man she eventually married, a year or so after I left Malaysia. He was my other senior manager, another great guy who played a pivotal role in my success (I always hired people better at the job than me).
It was back in late 2000 that I left Malaysia and ventured back to the UK. I also went and lived and worked in Australia for just short of 2 years. I lost all contact with my now wife. At about the time I was going through a divorce, my now wife was getting married. The year was 2003.
In 2005, 2006, 2007, 2008 and 2009 I was offered to come back to Malaysia to work. I refused each time. Eventually I showed up in 2010.
In 2009, through the mighty power of facebook, my now wife (I better start using her name, don’t you think?) found me and we exchanged just two messages. When I finally reached Malaysia, a few months later we went to dinner and caught up on old times.
Now the friend I had come to out work with, had also offered Lyn (My now wife) a job a few times and she refused for one reason or another. When I arrived she decided to come and work with us.
(Please bear with me friends; I will be shortly arriving at the point I want to make)
Her divorce had come through in late 2009, her marriage being over a year or so before that. Now the thing that could appear strange somewhat, is that If I had decided to come out to Malaysia any time between, 05 and 09-the timing would not have been right to marry the girl I had known all those years ago. Not for her and not for me.
The series of events that had happened to both of us over the 13 or 14 year period we were apart and for us to eventually be together and marry, some people would refer to as ‘spooky’ or fated, or ‘written in the stars’. And sure, if the events were closely analyzed I can see how people could view it that way.
You have probably had such incidents happen in your life too that may have caused you to think of life in this way? We all do I’m sure.
But the way I view it, what led us to being together was a culmination of the decisions we made during the 13 or 14 year period we were not in contact with each other. And nothing else. Nothing spooky, coincidental or remotely supernatural about it at all.
As I have blogged before, it is our decisions that carve out our futures; our lives are not predetermined by the stars or fate or anything else. You will notice that life is always giving us choices or two different paths to travel down. What we choose determines which road we shall journey along and which destination we arrive at. And each road leads to two distinctly separate places.
The best way to look at that, if your decisions do really determine your future, is to always make the best choice you can by carefully weighing up your options.
One principle I now try my utmost to live by is to make the right decision. And by right I mean by following my conscience on a spiritual, moral and ecological level (I said I’m trying. I have not perfected this, not even by Einsteins’ stretch of imagination).
And then, life’s twists and turns, which are always going to be there, will have a greater chance of turning into triumphs.
Choose wisely my friends, choose wisely.