I receive emails from time to time asking me what my ‘secret’ is to climbing out of adversity and regaining my relative success. How did I become a group CEO, start my own business, become an expert, in-demand coach, an author and a world-class copywriter after having lost everything and being held in the haunting, vice-like grip of depression with almost daily suicidal thoughts?

Although I find them humbling, I very rarely answer any of the requests for such information any more. I have found that even though I have offered the people enquiring of how I did it, the mind tools which I know will skyrocket their 5 figure income, bring personal happiness, help them climb out of depression or live a more fulfilling life or whatever, they seldom actually take any of the steps that I have suggested (Why they don’t is the subject of a future blog).

Recently, I received an email asking this very same question.

The words in the email looked and sounded familiar and thankfully for the wonderful invention of Gmail, I searched and found virtually the same request, with the same reasons behind the request, from the same person, more than a year ago. He had just worded his request in a different format.

I replied and asked if he had taken any of the steps I outlined in the previous correspondence. An excuse was promptly sent back with what I must say was a half-hearted apology. But this time was different he told me, he would follow my advice if I would kindly give some different tips as he was now ready to listen and act.

I thought about it for a day or so and decided instead to write back with some reverse psychology (I really wasn’t being sarcastic) Here is a shorter version of what I sent him:

Dear John,

I really don’t know how on earth you are going to change your life around. But I do know how you can keep it the way it is now. I would guess you have been doing some of these on the list below since your first request.

  • Watch endless hours of mindless T.V. every night rather than writing out your dreams, aspirations, hopes or goals
  • Stay fearful
  • Keep reading ‘How to’ books especially those that contain secrets to success, money, happiness and all the things you say you want…and don’t bother applying any of them
  • Waste time envying all those other happy, successful people who have it so, so easy
  • Ensure you go on Facebook for at least 2 hours everyday, more if you like
  • Focus your time and energy on all the things that bring you instant gratification…rather than future attainment of what you say you want
  • Keep worrying about what everyone else is thinking about you
  • Play your mental video of you failing…every day…at least 5 times
  • Wait for the perfect time. Yesterday wasn’t right, today certainly isn’t. Start tomorrow
there is always tomorrow

You can always start your dreams tomorrow

Ensure these are the main activities in your life on a regular basis and I guarantee you 100% you will be in the same place next year, or maybe even a worse situation, than you are now.

When you are serious about turning your life around, please get in touch and I will then test if it is something you really want to do or not and then I will decide if I want to coach you.

Kind regards,


When information is freely given a lot of people rarely take heed. They don’t place any value to what you have given.

If You don’t pay for it, you won’t pay attention to it

You must be willing to invest in yourself if you feel there is an area that you need to improve in your life or if you want to require a new skill.

I paid a great deal of money to get one of the best NLP trainers in the business when I decided to get my NLP Practitioner and TimeLine Therapy qualifications (I’m not on the payroll, and neither am I an affiliate, but his website is here www.asiaminddynamics.com/ )

Whether it is a series of DVD’s, a course, some books, a seminar, personal or professional coaching or whatever, invest the time and the money into yourself. If you aren’t willing to make the sacrifices necessary to do this, then you aren’t serious about transforming your results.