I Failed – But I am Not a Failure
In the last 12 months I have failed. I have failed to get enough new clients. I have failed to sustain myself. I have made mistakes. Some big ones too. Times have been testing, trying and darn right frustrating at times. I became complacent too; which is the ugliest enemy of success.
All my savings, a large chunk of money, have now vanished.
Luckily, these times have not caused me to lose my sanity. Or send me into despair or depression. I appreciate that others are not as lucky in that respect.
But what I doggedly refuse to believe is that I am a failure. I am not.
There is no failure, only feedback
I have learned lessons. And I fully believe that these lessons will stand me in good stead in the future.
I have many blessings to be grateful for too. I am debt free. Luckily the property I own is rented out and that covers the mortgage. I have a roof over my head and I have some magnificent friends and supportive family, who I am really grateful for (You know I will always remember your help).
Does this Temporary Situation Make Me Any Less of a Person or a Coach?
No it doesn’t. What, you mean I have lost all my expertise, all my 30 years of coaching people, reading, studying the mind, just because I have hit a surmountable wall? No I haven’t. What if I had retired? Would that make a difference to my ability? Emphatically, the answer is; No!
Am I living a lie because I post on social media about success, performance, positivity and the like? No I am not. The posts are as much for me sometimes, as anyone else.
I have complete faith in my ability to bounce back. I have done it before and I remind myself of that. I also remind myself from time to time, of my past successes. I have achieved some of my wildest dreams. This ensures my self-confidence stays healthy.
I just know that I will bounce back bigger and better than ever before. It is a strong, inner knowing.
It isn’t ‘luck’ that I think this way. It is a conscious effort.
Then I remind myself of some other people who have made a come back. Some of them from deeper dire situations and circumstances that I temporarily find myself in. People such as:
- Steve Jobs
- Martha Stewart
- MC Hammer
- James Altucher
- Walt Disney
- Muhammad Ali
- Robert Downey Jnr
- George Foreman
- Joe Bloggs
- Jane Doe
And some people I have coached that have made fantastic comebacks too.
How You Think Will Determine How and Even If, You Will Bounce Back
I could of course beat myself up every day with negative, soul destroying self-talk. I could view myself as somebody not worthy to achieve again. But I will have none of this nonsense.
Your self-worth is not determined by your net worth – unless you choose to let it
James Altucher (Listed above), after losing over $10 million and being pushed to the brink of suicide suddenly realised one important aspect of being broke. He realised that he couldn’t “judge his self-worth by his net-worth”. He later bounced back and is successful again.
I refuse to do that too. My self-worth is determined by how I think of myself. Not by the money in my bank account.
The biggest tragedy is not “failing” it’s not trying at all. I have met too many people who have tried and lost and never tried again. They gave up. They didn’t want to risk going through the pain again maybe.
Not me. I am just starting from scratch again. I have done it before and will do it again. Approaching 55 does not deter me either. I have read about a lot of late bloomers. And besides, like I have said above, it is not whether I ‘make it’ it’s whether I try again.
My new website is up and running (You are on it now reading this) my business cards will be here in a few days and I will be out knocking doors and getting clients.
Oh I love life. I really do. In 12 months time I will be looking back on all of this and saying to myself, “ahhh, that’s why it all happened”
Am I embarrassed by exposing myself to you like this? No. Embarrassment is for big ego’s in my opinion and I like to think mine isn’t that big in that context.
I am still happily discontent. I am still hungry. I am looking forward to the future. I am working on it now. So watch this space.
It’s not about the winning. It’s not about taking part. It’s not about accumulating money or stuff. It’s about being able to say to yourself, “Hey. I gave it my best shot.” Robert Hamilton