We all have an in-built default mechanism to be ‘liked’ by others. This is such a compelling need that most people want to be accepted and liked by everyone. And I mean by everyone. It doesn’t matter how much most people harp on about not caring what others think, deep down they do.
We all do.
But there comes a time when you have to let go of some people in your life…and this includes people on your social media channels too in my opinion.
Why, if a ‘friend’ never ever gives you the time of day when you are putting energy into them, should you even bother? The answer is of course, you shouldn’t.
Recently, somebody messaged me and asked me how I could help them to “Get somebody to like them”.
They went on to say that they used to be quite close but now they felt their ‘friend’ was simply ignoring them and that their friendship was all one-sided on their part.
Now I didn’t answer this in ‘coach mode’ as it wasn’t a coaching session. But I told them if they really felt this way and the other person was truly ignoring them, why didn’t they just let them go?
Sometimes we outgrow our friends and at other times they outgrow us. It doesn’t necessarily mean they don’t like us or that we don’t like them; its just that we move on in life.
Sometimes in life, our ships start sailing in different directions and we lose sight of each other as they, and us, seek new horizons
I have experienced this many times in my life. I have had what I once called good friends, just cut me out of their life altogether. I have even had some verbally and violently attack me and say some vile, nasty lies about me.
I don’t despise or hate those people who no longer contact me, or me them. In fact, I have some great memories with some of them and some magical experiences that helped shaped me into who I am now.
Recently, I culled over 500 ‘friends’ off my personal Facebook page. I couldn’t see any purpose in having them on my friends list. I don’t need to be seen as someone who has “5,000 friends”.
How people treat you is their path in life; their choice. How you respond to that is the path you walk.
But now we just don’t share common goals or interests. The ones that attacked me I simply sent them a silent ‘Bless you’, cut them out of my life and moved on. I certainly did not try and ‘Get them to like me’. What a waste of energy and time that would be. I have more pressing issues than giving such things any thinking time.
So if you are going through something similar, try not to take it too personally. Accept that they may well have moved on or have different interests now. Treasure any great memories you have of them.
Is there anything they helped you learn whilst you were friends with them? Or anything they learned from you?
Maybe your answer lies there.
Robert is a published author, NLP Practitioner and Timeline Therapist™ and a Performance and Life Enhancement Coach (Dip). If you would like to be coached by Robert and get what you want faster and easier then please go here