“I will do it tomorrow” How many times have you said that? And tomorrow soon turns into a few days, next week, next month and next year. And in some extreme cases, never.
Yes I am talking about that popular success destroyer, procrastination. I think the majority of people suffer from it in some form or another during their lifetime. Some people of course, suffer more than others.
I remember when I took my NLP practitioner and timeline therapy course, procrastination seemed to be the number one character flaw the vast majority of students wanted to banish from their lives. Oh how much more we could get done and achieve-if only we didn’t procrastinate.
I think one of the major reasons people procrastinate is through a lack of self-confidence. People aren’t going to say to you, or to themselves, ‘Hey, I am lacking a huge dose of self-confidence in my life right now’. But people are willing to tell you, and themselves, that they procrastinate. Why? Because, like you and me, we can relate to it. We have been guilty of it too.
It is a great cop out. Not the Mother of all excuses, but right up there with the best of them. People can empathise, because like I said, its quite easy to relate to.
Healthy self-confidence is the bedrock to personal achievement
And not many people have a good or ready made answer to tell them as to how they can overcome it. It stumps people. It’s an excuse without appearing too much like an excuse.
I have found that after a little probing of the said mind disease, a lot of the time they are delaying what they really want to do because they lack self-confidence.
- They lack the confidence to leave the dysfunctional relationship that is way beyond its sell by date
- They lack the confidence to start their own business
- They lack the confidence to go after that dream job
- They lack the confidence to go and mix socially and meet new people
- They lack the confidence to go and ask that gorgeous girl or guy on a date
Now I am not saying this lack of self-confidence is the only reason for delaying those dreams we have; there can be other factors at play. But when someone tells me they haven’t left that boring, unfulfilling job yet and applied for their dream job that pays better and will make them happy because they have been delaying it-I know there is usually another reason other than procrastination.
I ask a question to determine (Depending on the client and circumstances of course) what is the cause, and knowing it may well be a lack of confidence I fire at them, “If you were super confident, what would you do?”
I may well ask it regarding the above too.
“If you had rock solid self-confidence that the business would be a success, when would you start it?”
“If you were confident you could find another partner that would love, cherish and adore you, would you end this relationship?”
Or sometimes I may simply ask, “If you had super confidence, what would you try and achieve?” Closely followed up with, “And when?”
Procrastination seems to melt into oblivion when the client is questioned. It no longer becomes an issue at all.
You may want to ask yourself that very same question too.
To your success, happiness and fulfillment.
Robert (Yes, I am going to start signing off now!)
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