A common fear of some people, probably a lot of people, is what others think of them.
Being wrapped up with what we presume other people may well be thinking about us can be paralysing for some. It literally stops them from chasing dreams, taking risks, starting that new business, changing jobs or simply prevents them from pursuing what is in their heart.
They are racked with thoughts of, what will everyone else think if I…(Fill in the blank)? What will everyone else think of ME if I try (Fill in the blank)? This is then followed with, I better not…
You get the picture right? I think at some point in our lives, we have all suffered from this. I know I have.
The difference is whether or not we let it affect us and stop us from living the life we should be living.
There’s bunch of people out there who don’t like ya and there’s nothing you can do about it
You Have NO CONTROL Over Who Likes You or Who Doesn’t
Here is a way of looking at it. What people think about you has nothing to do with you! Nothing to do with how you dress, how you look, what you say, what you do, where you live etc. You cannot control what people think about you.
That is controlled by numbers and the nature of people. There are almost 7 billion souls on the planet and people are well, just people.
Think about it.
There will always be people who like you, people who don’t and people who are neutral about you. Go and change your entire lifestyle, your job, your career, your fashion sense, your values or whatever you want.
Guess how it will be?
There will be some people who like you, some people who don’t and some people who will be neutral about you.
So there really is no point in changing who you are in an attempt to get people to like you with the false hope that will stop them from saying one or two unpleasant things about you. It just ain’t gonna work.
A classic example of this is the politician who changes sides or jumps from one party to another. It didn’t matter which camp he was in. People still either liked, disliked or thought nothing about him.
Like everyone else, we all have our own agendas and concerns we are dealing with. We are far too busy in our own little worlds to be thinking about others.
So remember, you and your actions or lifestyle or job are not in the equation. It really doesn’t matter what you do in life. People are going to think one of the following regardless of what you do, how you look or how you live.
- Hey I like him/her (Will occasionally speak nice things about you)
- Hey I don’t like her/him (Will occasionally say unpleasant things about you)
- Hey I have no particular thoughts about him/her (Will neither think nice or not so nice things about you)
The more you are in the public eye, or the more ‘popular’ you become the more people will fill these 3 groups.
We all want to be liked. But we need to accept that it is impossible for everyone to like us, however much we try and make them
And as for the 3rd group. I bet there are some people amongst them who actually despise you. Would spit on the ground you walked on. They want to see you crash and burn and fail miserably. The mere mention of your name stokes up inner feelings of intense hatred!
They will always be there. No matter what you do. Better get used to it. Personally, I ignore them and do my utmost to simply, rise above. If you don’t, you can end up falling into the ‘trying to please everyone’ trap or trying to get the haters to like us.
Take somebody you may dislike (or have disliked in the past) or someone whose values you disagree with or whose fashion sense is not up to your standards (he he).
You may well have said one or two unpleasant things about them. But ask yourself,
Are you constantly thinking about them? All day and night? Well, how long exactly do you think about them? In a day? A week? A month? (So stop thinking that you are that important that everyone else is talking or thinking about you constantly. They aren’t)
Do they know you are thinking about them? Are your thoughts having any effect on them? So why should what others think of you, be on your mind?
Even do this with people you like and admire. How often are you thinking about them? I mean really thinking about them? Not that often right?
Providing your own conscience is clear and what you do does not hurt or is not detrimental to another’s well being, you do what you love to do; go for it.
Be you. Be authentic, beautiful you.
An after thought…
(Maybe it’s really the control aspect you actually dislike or fear? Because you cannot control these 3 groups it is that that niggles you? Maybe you need to accept that some things (Most things) are beyond your control)