I like observing Simon Cowell. He simply oozes ultra high levels of self-confidence from every pore.
Do you think he was born with that amount of self-confidence? Do you think it is all simply down to his genes? His upbringing? His environment perhaps? They all play a part, but personally I don’t believe full self-confidence (Meaning you could score 10 out of 10) is something that happens naturally and automatically.
We are all born with certain levels of confidence and some I guess are higher than others. Some of us can have great confidence in certain areas of our lives but not in others. Confidence is like a muscle, it needs training to be strengthened and improved which it can be; easily, quickly and effectively.
When confidence levels are high we are more able to deal with life, work, find solutions to problems, rise to challenges and so forth. Indeed our success in these areas vastly improves too.
Your confidence can be learned and acquired. By the same token, losing our confidence is also a learned process.
Our confidence can also be dented from time to time through setbacks, delays and expectations not being met. And in extreme cases, it can be totally destroyed and needs more work than the few tips that are in this post. But the great news is, it can be re-gained or strengthened. It just requires a little time and a little effort.
It’s your choice. You can spend the extra ten minutes a day slumped in front of the TV or surfing; or spend the same ten minutes building your confidence. I know which I would prefer to do.
With confidence you can be, do and ultimately gain more. If you have had your confidence knocked out of you or you would simply like to improve it, here are 6 tips that can help.
1) Think back to your most recent or greatest success
Spend a couple of minutes remembering a time when you achieved a great goal. The bigger the better. And when I say big, I mean by your standards. Relive the momentous joy and feel the feelings that accompanied the success. Say to yourself with complete faith, “I have achieved before I can achieve again”.
This doesn’t mean you have to live on past glories on a constant basis. But if you relive the confident moment now and again, it can be a great booster.
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2) Dress well
Everyone you meet during your day has consciously dressed in that manner. Nobody just ‘throws something on’ and runs out of the door; it is a conscious choice. If you want to boost your confidence wear clean, nice clothes that make you feel great. Don’t save those clothes for the next wedding or dinner you are going to attend, wear them now. When you look good, you feel good.
3) Notice your posture
Physiology affects your psychology; it is all interwoven as I am sure you may already know. Look at any one who is feeling down in the dumps and you will clearly see slumped shoulders, head looking down and general body movements slower than normal. In other words there state of mind is shown in their body language. It works the other way too. If you are feeling down and change your physiology, you can change your psychology. You can change your thinking.
Try speeding up your pace when you walk by say 15% or 20%. Pull the shoulders back and chest slightly out. And try smiling more. Sound simple? It is.
4) Don’t compare yourself to others
If you go comparing yourself to others and their success, or how they look or what they have achieved it can backfire on you. Most people I have found, nearly always compare themselves with people who have achieved more than they have. This can make your achievements look small in comparison.
I am a kick-start coach and I’m extremely good at what I do. However, although I have people that I admire and I follow the clues that led them to their success, I don’t compare myself with their results.
If I was to compare myself to Tony Robbins in terms of income generated last year or how many people he had on a seminar to how many I had, it could cause me to self-doubt and therefore that could harm or lower my confidence. I only compare myself with the standards I set for me. I raise the bar on my own achievements and stretch myself with myself. This in turn boosts my confidence.
Yeah, yeah yeah…we hear it all the time. It isn’t just about the feel good chemicals the brain releases (Endorphins, and especially serotonin) when we exercise that is important. It is also how we feel about ourselves. If we look after our bodies (And minds) and are happy with them, this in turn surges our confidence to the next level.
Go for some brisk walks, or play tennis, take up yoga or dancing. If you feel you are overweight, then lose some. Exercise makes us feel invigorated and energised which in turn boosts self-confidence.
Most of the confident people I know and observe are, generally speaking, very active people. If you don’t like being the way you are now, then change. Kick starting your confidence is a sure fire way to start getting better results in all areas of your life. When your confidence is high, people want to be around you and they notice you. You become a people magnet.
6) Watch what you think about you
Very briefly, that inner critic is the biggest cause to a lack of self-confidence. Filling your mind full of doubt about yourself and what you can and can’t do. Whenever these thoughts stomp over your other thoughts, acknowledge them and simply change them with something more optimistic.
If ever I doubt myself, I quickly change the thought that is causing the doubt.
Lets say I get a couple of negative thoughts concerning my ability to do something I quickly replace it with “Thanks for that opinion, but I am a unique and extraordinary person”
With practise this gets easier and easier. Again, what we think about on a consistent basis, is a choice. Choose to think more thoughts that serve you.
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