A little while I ago I blogged about what I would tell 10 year old me. I wrote that blog based on what us older folk often say to ourselves; If I knew then what I know now…Something that maybe you have said to yourself?
The other question I often ask myself is, did our parents never pass this kind of stuff on to us? Or are our memories so distorted with all the shouting of, “No you can’t do that!” blot it all out? Did we just switch off? Maybe it was because they had us when they were young and therefore didn’t know the wisdom till we were old enough to learn for ourselves?
Well, on with the blog. These are not in any order. Just stuff I would go back and tell 10 year old me. By the way, here are the other 5 Things I Would Tell 10 Year Old Me from the original post.
1) Look for the Good in the World
The mind is a funny and most powerful instrument and what you focus on you will see more of. So focus on finding the good stuff in life and the world and that’s what you will see showing up in your life.
When I say the mind is funny, I mean it in this way. What we focus more on tends to end up representing our belief system. And the mind actively seeks evidence to support that belief.
If for example I believe all bosses in the employment world are just out to use and abuse their employees, that’s exactly what I will find. Not only that, my mind will seek evidence to prove my belief (That all bosses are out to use and abuse me) to me over and over again.
And here’s the real bone cruncher: The mind will also IGNORE all evidence that is contrary or opposite to that belief. Always seek out the good in the world and the best in others.
2) Take Responsibility for Your Own Results in Life
Responsibility seems to be dwindling in people young Robert. Nothing is anyones fault anymore. “John did X because he is suffering Y”, “Mary did A because of what happened to her at B” and on and on the list goes.
So many times I hear, “It’s not my fault” or “It was my partners fault, the governments fault, my teachers fault, my parents fault, the economies fault” and dozen more reasons. This is down to a lack of personal responsibility.
It can also be labeled if you like, under ‘excuses’ too. Here are some more you will hear that shun personal responsibility;
“I was born in the wrong year” “I’m a gemini that’s why I am always late” “The Feng Shui of my home is all haywire, that’s why I lost my job” and other such nonsense.
Society as a whole seems to be finding “reasons” for all kinds of actions (Or is this what I have been drawn into focusing on?) so we can all say, “Ahh, that’s why they did it. So it wasn’t their fault”
Take responsibility. You and you alone are responsible for your results in life whether they are good, outstanding and not so good.
For every action you take there will be consequences. For decisions you make there will be consequences. The great thing is by looking at life like this it puts you in control of your own destiny. Go and make yours awesome.
3) Not Everyone is Going to Like You
You have to accept this. A big human desire or rather need is to be liked. Unfortunately, that’s not the way it works so get used to it. Some people will like you, others will despise you, some will love you, some won’t care a hoot about you.
Think about it logically for a moment. If you try and change to get the people who don’t like you, to like you, guess what happens? The people who used to love you now don’t like you.
You see it doesn’t matter how you act, who you are, what you do, what you look like, there will always be somebody, somewhere who doesn’t like you. And with a population of 7 billion plus, that number could be very large indeed.
What matters is what you think of yourself. How much you love you (Without being overly egotistical about it)
4) Forgive Others (Thanks to my friend from afar, Emma Schonenberg from El Salvador, who commented on my original post for suggesting this)
Older me rarely gets hurt or even offended by the actions of others, so I rarely have to forgive anyone anymore.. But your ten year old mind is not quite ready to receive that information so the next best thing I can tell you is, forgive everyone who hurts or offends you.
Now this is not for their benefit nor is it saying what they did was ok. No, you forgive others for your own soul. Unresolved past issues are the major cause of alcoholism and regular hard drug use. A lot of times this is down to past hurts (Some horrific I admit) not being forgiven.
But I know without doubt that anything can be released and overcome with forgiveness.
And not only that, but everyone deserves a second chance. Sometimes as many chances as possible if they are genuinely trying to improve.
Forgive yourself too for any errors you may make. And move on. No point carrying them around with you.
5) Give it a Shot
There is an old saying that the graveyard is full of unknown talented people. Now I am not implying that you need to be famous here because you don’t have to be famous to be outstanding.
What I am saying is, whatever talents you have, unleash them. Push them as far as you can. Give them a shot. The point is not whether you succeed or don’t. The point is in the knowing you gave it your best shot.
You’ll never regret the things you tried, but you will regret not trying them. If you are good at singing for example and it is something you want to pursue, give it your best shot. Do whatever you can to push that talent and share it with others.
(And you know what? By doing that you will more than likely fulfil your dreams)
At least when the hourglass of time calls you, you will be able to say you gave it your best shot. There will be no haunting, ‘if only’s’ in your later years.